What I can give you, I can't give you anything.

in 1915, Sun Yat-sen and Soong Ching-ling fell in love in Japan. At that time, Sun Yat-sen had already married Lu in his hometown, and Sun Yat-sen opposed concubinage, so he had no choice but to ask Mrs. Lu for advice, asked her whether she agreed to divorce, and explained the reasons for divorce. In the era of marriage and half a lifetime, Mrs. Lu, bound with small feet, wrote only the word "can" in her reply. She agreed to divorce. No investigation, no inquiry, no complaint, no resentment. A friend asked her, "Why did you agree so easily? do you know what divorce means to a woman?" She said to her friend, "I don't have enough common sense, let alone English. I'm foot-bound and I can't move. How can I help my husband?" My little uncle died in the autumn of 2006. Autumn in the north is rustling and cold. When he was alive, he was at odds with his aunt, quarreling endlessly, and throwing pots and pans all day. The little uncle came to work in the city, and the little aunt followed him all the way and continued to quarrel. The tolerance of men and the tenderness of women have long been erased by them. I asked my mother carefully, "Why is it so hard for them to be together, but they never part?" My mom said, "get married." Since his death, the little aunt has taken a son and a daughter to make a living on her own. Even if it's hard, it won't say a word. My mother and I went to see her several times, and my mother advised her that she might as well talk to another man to spend the rest of her life. After all, there is still a long way to go. The little aunt always smiled and said perfunctorily, "We'll see." Once I was playing gluttonous snake with my aunt's mobile phone and accidentally pressed the message in the text message, in which there was only a recipient, which was my uncle's name. the most recent message was: I dreamt about you again, and I scolded you in my dream. I can kick myself. I retreated in panic and switched to the Snake game interface. "Sister, I'll never forget what he looks like." My aunt sat at one end of the sofa and said to her mother. The sun shines on her, but it doesn't look warm at all. From then on, my mother never mentioned the matter of letting my aunt find another husband, but it was in vain to mention it again. Just think of life and death as lovesickness. 

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 A close male friend in college. In the impetuous college days, always stay alone. I always teased him: "you are not crooked and cracked dates, nor do you not know how to be tender, how can you always be alone?" "I don't want to fall in love," he said. " I then joked: "it is difficult to have sexual dysfunction, it does not matter, you are welcome to the andrology hospital." He couldn't help saying, "Fuck you." During the summer vacation, I went out to the night market with him and asked for some wine. I took a sip of wine. I couldn't find anything interesting to talk about, so I casually said, "if I had a sister, I'd like to give it to you myself." The corners of his mouth went up, but he didn't smile at all. Keep drinking, drink after drink, "once upon a time there was a girl, we were very good together, really good, and then she had a car accident." Originally I was only joking, but he smacked me on the head when I was still in the fun of joking. I was in a daze for a moment and didn't know how to comfort myself. I know that no comfort is comforting. "drink less." And don't let him have fun for a while. "do you know what that feels like? There is no way to expect more from anyone. " One more drink, "I. I have given her all my strength and all my emotions. " Haruki Murakami and Nobel. The dead girl and you. I don't know what words to use at the end of the story. I think of a poem by Rilke: who is being executed in the world at the moment, dying in the world for no reason, looking at me. In the winter of my freshman year, I was still in Jiangning. Outside the east gate of the school, there are daily snack stalls, chicken burritos, ice candy Sydney, Pan-Fried Meat Dumplings and Pan-Fried Dumplings, beef fans. They always gather here like thousands of troops crossing the river at nine o'clock in the evening. For a moment, people were crowded outside the east gate. The sound of slippers, the crackling of steel, the shout of hawking, and the pinching of the car were submerged into the yellow moonlight. I chatted with my aunt and uncle while waiting for them to make me burritos. "our child is going to take the middle school entrance examination this year. He wants to make progress. He wants to take the best middle school there. When you have a holiday, we will go back to our hometown to study with our children. After the New year, we will not come." When they said this, there was a smile and longing on their faces. They must have been the happiest people in the whole day at that moment. The aunt wrapped me a burrito and frowned, "Oh, you said we couldn't do anything, and we couldn't help him with his study." There's nothing I can do to help. " Wrapped in a thick down jacket and wearing a large mask covering most of my face, I only showed two sparkling eyes and clanked the six coins into the box at my aunt's hand. "it would be nice to be with him." I took the burrito. 

5 when we were teaching in Gaming, Guizhou, when it was hot, we washed our faces with the mountain spring water flowing out of the faucet. This faucet is not turned off all year round, and there is a steady stream of mountain spring water. Wash your face and dry it in the wind. The sky is close and the scenery is fresh, and the day does not look rough. Eight-year-old Mei Ang stood quietly behind me while I was washing her face. She leaned against the corner of the wall and rubbed herself on the floor in her little red slippers. I threw the water off my hand. Ask her, "Mei Ang, why don't you go and play?" She suddenly said, "how many more days do you have to leave?" "There is still a long way to go." I am most afraid of this problem, so I want to muddle through casually. She didn't leave me alone. "then I'll never see you again." "you have to study hard. When you are admitted to the university, you can come to Nanjing to see me." She pursed her lips without saying a word and smiled hard at me, very simple and kind. But the eyebrows and eyes are reluctant. I bent down, crouched beside her, looked her in the eye, took her hand, and said, "when you come to me, I will pick you up." She finally smiled. "teacher, I want to send you a picture when you leave." "all right." I took the conversation and relaxed as long as I didn't mention the parting and mentioned anything at will. When it is time to say goodbye, the children will give us teachers who have known each other for 20 days to draw pictures themselves. Or draw in the exercise book, or draw on the toilet paper. Simple lines and simple words. "but I can't draw well." Mei Aung became dull again. "it's open.Yes, as long as you give it to me, I will keep it well. " I told her with the utmost sincerity in my heart. On the day she left, she asked me to hold her. I picked her up. She pressed it in my ear and said, "teacher, I still don't draw, I don't draw well." What a pity that there is nothing to commemorate you. Fortunately, this painting has been engraved into your bones. What I can give you is nothing. Sometimes I feel that maybe uselessness and incompetence are the greatest strength. Is to give all his strength.